I have a feeling it is time to turn a new page.... Or in this case turn a new blog. For those of you who stumble across my blog and like to read my boring posts, please visit my new blog, http://tstraveling.blogspot.com/. I'm sure there aren't a ton of avid readers out there, but just in case. Oh and P.S. I can almost gaurantee the new blog may be more boring than the current one!
I can remember as I was growing up being the oldest girl of the family and just wishing I had been blessed with an older sister. I wanted someone to call and talk to about my boy crushes in high school, someone to take me shopping, and someone to look up to. Someone who wouldn't want to get into my makeup, or my jewelry, or take my clothes. I wanted more than a stinky smelly brother who beat me, and held me down and tickled me until I cried or teased me relentlessly.
It is interesting now, as I look at my three wonderful little sisters and the overwhelming feeling of gratitude I feel. I am so thankful for the beautiful women these girls are becoming. Regardless of their age, they will always be little to me. As I sat and listened to all three of them talk in church on Sunday I am amazed at their strength, and their powerful testimonies. I'm so glad that they are all choosing to take the path of happiness. I continue to be blessed with their love and support for me. Although they all may not grasp the complexity of my situation and my pain, they never cease to offer words of encouragement or just a simple I love you. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family, and sisters who are my best friends. Sisters who will be my friends through life and eternity! I am glad that I am able to be that "older sister" I wanted so badly. At the same time I reflect on all the torment my older brother put me through. I think time may add a little exaggeration to memories. He probably wasn't as annoying as I portray. I am, and will be forever thankful for him, and the closeness we share with each other. He seems to have me in his thoughts continually. I'm sure he is beyond annoyed with calling me and listening to my heartbroken tears over and over.... But yet he continually calls, continually thinks about me and my situation. He offers advice and encouragement, but mostly his love and support. I'm thankful he helped make me the strong person I am today, otherwise who knows how I would be dealing with my unexpected life situations.
Last but not least my baby brother. Oh how I love and hold a special place in my heart for this little dude. I am continually amazed by how sensitive he is to other's feelings. At one of my recent moments of pure anguish, I know he was bearing some of the pain for me. I could see it in his face. I will never forget the moment I sat on his bed as he just hugged me and cried with me and told me how he loved me and how bad he felt for me. At a moment when my heart was hurting so much from pain, when I didn't think healing was possible, his simple declaration of love healed a part of my broken heart. His strength helped me pull it together. His innocent faith in Kyle, and in me give me hope. I'm not sure he'll ever know how much that little moment meant to me.
I think in times of struggle we are able to realize what a blessing our families can be, and are for us. I know that we are together to help lighten the load for each other in times of need, and struggle. I know my Heavenly Father gave me these trials because he knew with my family, and through my faith in Him and His plan for me, if I would humble myself, I would be able to learn so much and grow SO much from this experience. I remember a prayer my husband once offered where he thanked our Heavenly Father for our trials..... I can remember thinking, "What the Heck?" But now I totally understand. I am so thankful for this trial, regardless of what the outcome will be. I have been able to grow so much as an individual, but more so, my faith in the gospel and my understanding of my Heavenly Father's love for me. I realize now, I am able to be strong because of my relationship with Him and my family. The thought of going through this without these blessings is such a daunting thought. One of my new found favorite scriptures, "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up. [D&C 84:88]
Is it common for 4 months to have gone by and be absent from the blogging world? Is it common to not feel like blogging about life, or the thought of blogging itself seems like such a daunting task? Who knows, but I have been in a never ending slump. A slump that lasted all winter. I think it may be in part to that very thing.. Winter! I'm not winter's biggest fan nor have I ever been, even in my happiest moments. So Spring.... Please hurry. And bring lots of sunshine and no more dreaded cloudy days!
Because of this dreaded slump I have had a lot of time to think about things and things other people are probably thinking of me. I wish for the understanding of everyone more now than I have in my entire life. I wish for it more than I wish for the rush of spring. I wish that as humans we were able to know and understand the struggles of every individual. That we may all be able to empathize with each other without judgement or biased opinions. Because regardless of the outward appearance, people have some sort of internal battle they are dealing with. I wish to feel understood and supported, and most of all not judge by other's opinions of my situation. I have often claimed that I don't care what other people think... But in reality we all care a little bit about the opinions of others, even though it may be detrimental to our own cause.
Through all of my struggles I have gained a greater appreciation for the understanding and concern of my Heavenly Father. He knows my struggles, He knows my heart, and He understands my fears and my anguish, and He listens to my prayers and feels my tears. He supports me no matter what. In this I find comfort. Comfort in a time I didn't think comforting was possible. I am so grateful for my testimony.
It may seem like I am full of so many wishes... and that I am. But for now, I'll hold out for Spring......
"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so don't fuss, dear; get on with it." - Audrey Hepburn
What a great reminder for me on this day. Thank you!
After our much anticipated Lake Powell trip was cancelled due to some inclement COLD weather, the fam decided to take a little trip north. We were able to hike to the Mount Timpanogos Cave. We enjoyed some exercise, outdoors, beautiful fall mountains, crisp weather, but most of all the company of each other.
It has been over 15 years + since the last time I made the journey up the mountain. I had forgotten how beautiful this hike is and how amazing the cave is. Nathan and Kyle had never made the journey, so it was exciting for them to make the trek. I think there were some in the group who had forgotten how much of a "hike" it really was. But we all muscled through and made it to the top. Mishaelle made sure she was at least two paces or more ahead of anyone who came near her. Sometimes I think the competitive nature that we were born with can be almost as detrimental as it is advantageous. I got a kick out of watching my older brother sweat and complain about packing his cute daughter up the mountain. I cannot believe he is the one packing the child now! I didn't think I would see the day! :)
We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing at my parents and enjoying conference. I am so grateful for the counsel and encouragement from our prophets and apostles! What a wonderful time we live in. I came away with an attitude to continually better myself. I plan to love more freely, continually improve myself, and grow as I provide service to others. There were so many great words uttered, I cannot begin to describe how my soul was touched. I was touched in particular by the powerful testimony declared by Jeffery R. Holland. How amazing it was to listen to his declaration! Words cannot express my appreciation for his testimony.
Let me just start by saying I love, love, love the fall. It's hands down one of the prettiest times of year. There is something about the changing fall colors, pumpkin's, spicy smells, and fall food that just make my stomach tingle. I love that its starting to cool down a bit, and you can enjoy the outdoors without having to be in a bathing suit, and in the water. (Although I do love that as well, its just not always as convenient). It's such a beautiful time to run outdoors and take in the fall air. I love to smell the fall season air! What a wonderful feeling! I love the long sleeves, and layers of cute clothes fall brings with it. It is always a beautiful time of year to buy a great new pair of jeans, a spicy smell for your scentsy, and cuddle up and watch some Greys Anatomy.
With that said...... I was so excited and lucky to have my little sisters and little brother come down and visit for the weekend. We had so much fun laughing, watching movies, and shopping. I talked my little sisters into making sugar cookies with me. Chelsea and I had a lot of fun laughing at Mishaelle's attempt to roll out the dough, and we took a lot of silly pictures. But in the end, we made some super cute and delicious sugar cookies. We talked Nathan into coming to the movie, Love Happens, with us. It was so awesome for him to come with us, but the wet willies endured during the movie..... not so awesome! Kyle ended the weekend with some scary movies with them, while I was working, and they left Sunday after Nathan made everyone some scrumptious scrambled eggs. I am so grateful for the wonderful family I was blessed with. I am so thankful for our relationships and the friendships we share with each other. I always say, my family are some of my best friends, and I would do nothing to change this.
Just had to end with Nate..... being Nate! I love this kid !
Most people who know me, know that I have a crazy passion for running. The last couple months have been a little rough on me due to some "old lady" problems. My knee and foot have been annoyingly bugging me! I have rested (sort of) , iced, massaged, stretched, and taken my fair share of Advil (apologies to my kidneys), and to no avail they have persistently bugged! It's hard to admit that I am starting to "age". But when my beautiful friend Sierra asked me to be part of a relay team, how was I supposed to say no?
The relay started this last Friday morning. There were twelve of us on the "Iron and Whine" team. It consisted of six women and six men. We met each other for the first time on Thursday night before the race. The race started in Brian head and ended at a school out by Tuachan. The race was a 187 miles total starting and 8,000 ft in elevation. We had three legs all in a variety of length and difficulty. During the relay there were multiple moments of exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and also mental exhaustion, but we all continued to push through our legs so that we could finish. Not to mention plenty of the girls had to run through rain, hail, lightning, wind, and flash floods. But everyone did such a great job! We made new friends, and pushed ourselves beyond a point we thought we could go. What a rewarding experience! I loved every minute of it. Although, it is easier to say that now that we are finished. After doing this race, I did realize I am not in as good of shape as I thought I was. Some of which can be attributed to nursing my wounds, but the rest of it is just to lack of training. I finished on Saturday with new goals for my training and I am so excited to start training harder and differently! Now if I could finally talk Kyle into running with me............. :)